“A crisis so serious it has its own name and theme music …”

Remember that bit in the Simpsons’ movie? The one where Kent Brockman introduces the latest updates on the Dome under the graphic ‘trappuccino’ as ominous music plays? Well every time I see media coverage of the credit crunch/economic crisis/end of the world as we know it, I’m reminded of it! You just know editors in newsrooms up and down the country are bellowing ‘find me a new angle’ so if you’ve a story that’s remotely connected to finance, now’s the time to send it out.

Rat facts!

Quite apart from the fact I love the Echo’s positively apocalyptic description of mutant rats rampaging across Hampshire, this is a good example of how reporters use bulletpoints to illustrate a story.

Bulletpoints banish boring facts and figures

When you want some coverage for a campaign, putting together a fact file is a great way to grab a journalist’s attention. Reporters just love ‘em - at the Advertiser we used to call them ‘blobs’, snippets of information such as key statistics or dates presented as bulletpoints. They’re great for putting boring facts and figures into context and condensing key messages into bite-sized chunks; I use them all the time for longer feature releases and briefing key spokespeople.

Sometimes numbers just don’t add up to good publicity though as Starbucks found out earlier this week when The Sun accused the company of wasting water.

According to The Sun’s sums:

  • Starbucks has 10,000 outlets worldwide ‘wasting 23.4 million litres of water each day’
  • That’s ‘enough daily water for the entire two million-strong population of drought-hit Namibia in Africa or fill an Olympic pool every 83 minutes’
  • Britain has 698 Starbucks branches, which are open 13 hours a day and ‘waste an estimated 1.63 million litres a day’
  • That’s enough to meet the daily water requirements of a town the size of Matlock

Starbucks says it has to keep the cold water taps for its ‘dipper wells’ running all the time to meet health and safety rules but the story, which was picked up by media all over the place, is sure to leave a pretty nasty aftertaste for some time yet.

Blown away by weather girl Georgie (and the rest of the BBC South team)

Wow, weather presenters must have nerves of steel if Georgie Palmer of BBC South Today is anything to go by. Did you know she’s the only presenter who doesn’t have a script and is told minutes before she’s on air exactly how long she’s got to talk? That means she has to pretty much decide on the spot which of her graphics to use, how much detail to give and what to say - not a job for the fainthearted then.

Using the weather to make up or loose time, is just one of the tricks of the trade I learnt about during my visit to BBC South last night. I also discovered that a ‘grunt’ is for back up, that around 5 lights can be shining on a presenter at any one time (and they are HOT) and that any member of the BBC’s news team, anywhere in the world can access any of the stories which are filed on its internal system. Part of the tour was spent listening to the gallery whilst South Today was on air, a really interesting experience which brought home the fast-changing nature of news reporting even thought it was a fairly slow day for stories.

I worked with the BBC South team when they covered Naomi House’s 10th anniversary back at the beginning of 2007. Health Correspondent, David Fenton spent a week meeting and filming the people who make the hospice such a special place but most exciting of all, Sally Taylor joined him on the Friday evening for a live broadcast.

Now some people who are on the telly can be, how do I put it, real prima donas but not Sally. She was fantastic - professional yet approachable and incredibly friendly. She didn’t blink an eye when an overexcited child accosted her on her during an on-air tour of the playroom, managed to get two teenage boys to talk in coherent sentences and even gave us additional publicity through her newspaper column.

Journalists often get a bad press but, in my experience, the image of a grubby little man in a pork-pie hat could not be further from the truth. The ones I’ve met - including those putting together the broadcast last night - are professional, keen to hear about potential stories and generally very pleasant people but, of course, I may just be a little bit biased - after all I was once one of them too!

I bet you look good on the dancefloor …

Much as I love Ronan et al, I’m afraid this new video from Boyzone just makes me laugh (and laugh and laugh). Talk about Dads on the dancefloor! It’s so unbelievably bad, in so many ways … 

If you go down to the woods today …

. . . you’re sure of a big surprise  - I should say so - for the traditional teddy bears picnic has been replaced by a veritable menagerie of burlesque beasts frolicking in the greenery with Orangina. I don’t get it, any of it; the concept, the message, the intended audience. Is it supposed to make you feel thirsty?

Marketing says the ASA has received 147 complaints about the ad, kid’s charities are up in arms and it’s causing quite a stir online but is anyone actually buying the drink? Are sales increasing? ‘cos if they’re not, then everything else is just a ‘moo’ point as Joey would say!

Not much magic for muggles this year

It seems like only last week that I was downloading the new trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince which advertised a November 2008 cinema release - oh wait it was only last week so why oh why has Warner Brothers suddenly decided to put it back until July 2009?

According to Studio Boss, Alan Horn the picture is ‘complete absolutely … 100% on schedule’ and the studio ‘would have been perfectly able to have it out in November’. The BBC reports him as saying the decision was taken to ‘guarantee the studio a major summer blockbuster in 2009′ because the writers’ strike had impacted on the readiness of other scripts so basically it’s all about profit, which is understandable because films cost money and the studios have to ensure the highest possible return on their investment, but it’s still annoying after all the hype around the November release date, especially as you can’t help but feel the change in date must have been decided before the trailer came out.  

Warner Brothers however is trying to sell this as good news for fans saying the eight month delay will shorten the wait between the Half-Blood Prince and the last two films in the series. Oh come on now Warner Brothers you must think we’re all a little bit potty! If the posts on Potter sites like the excellent Leaky Cauldron are anything to go by the fans aren’t fooled and they’re not very happy either - it’s a bit like being promised a shiny new bike for Christmas but only receiving a bell on the big day and then being told you can’t have the rest until August Bank Holiday!

Just because …

Well if Obama and McCain are doing it, I thought I would too - list my top 10 tracks of all time that is and here they are (in no particular order):

Feel flows - The Beach Boys
Teardrop - Massive Attack
Burning Love - Elvis
The Fun Lovin’ Criminal - Fun Loving Criminals
Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush
Float On - Modest Mouse
Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
Sweetest Thing - U2
Can’t stand me now - The Libertines (my mum taught Karl Barat you know!)
Do it all over again - Spiritualised

Apparently I’m not alone …

… nope not a blog on the new X Files film, it appears I’m not alone in finding the reasons behind recent energy price hikes unconvincing. Putting up prices is never going to be a popular move but simply placing the blame on the oil market is obviously not convincing customers facing the ‘credit crunch’ that the media is hellbent on us having (and that’s a whole other blog for another day).

The PR just isn’t working guys so perhaps it’s time for a radical overhaul of communications - something tangible to show that you really do put your customers first because, while words are all very well, what we’ll actually judge you on is your actions. The industry really needs to regain the public’s trust because brand loyalty in this sector seems to be a thing of the past and that’s not a great long-term prognosis. 

PS: Can it really only be a coincidence that British Gas’s announcement comes just a day after EDF’s or am I turning into Agent Mulder?

UPDATE: Masterful PR planning - just read this about Centrica’s record profits. 

And another thing!

While I’m on the subject of energy, don’t you just love it when the great and good proudly state the blindingly obvious as if they’ve unravelled the mystery of life itself? Like this report from the Business and Enterprise Select Committee - I mean duh!